i have been recommitted, yet again.
Truth: Theatre is therapeutic. You don't even have to be the one on stage to experience catharsis and recognize how you can change and be better. When the person on stage is committed, and open, allowing vulnerability to reign rather than be in control of the outcome, growth is the fruit.
"Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing!" A child elf taught this on "THE SANTA CLAUSE." When we believe...do we SEE it for the reality we are proclaiming it to be? If we believe in a person, do we believe that this person is REAL...with desires, fears, favorite foods, etc. These specifics and details support this person's reality...as we come to know this person, our belief in them can be stronger...as it will be founded on what makes this person whole. I was taught this tonight at rehearsal for "Savior of the World."
New friends: Brother Beeston and Brother Stay, fellow teachers at the MTC. They let me sit in on their class. They are rock star teachers.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Listen. I may not have hair with magical qualities. But I also was not an innocent prisoner in a tower for the first 18 years of my life. Interesting, how our gifts and opportunities/situations seem to find a balance in this crazy world.
It is her 18th birthday. Her mother and father prepare her lanterns. Not a word is spoken...a tear escapes from her royal father's tired eyes, reflecting sorrow that hides a glimmer of hope. My own tears begin to fall...and continue to pledge allegiance to the tradition of faith....hoping for things that are not seen...THAT is magic. Real magic.
"...For now they saw the Prince. No one doubted for a moment who he was. ...Pale though he was from long imprisonment in the Deep Lands, dressed black, dusty, dishevelled, and w
eary, there was something in his face and air which no one could mistake. That look is in the face of all true kings of Narnia, who rule by the will of Aslan..." -The Silver Chair
I am a hopeless romantic...no, hopeful. I read these words written on paper, and felt these same etchings on my heart. Royalty is not something voted for, it is divine and deep within. We all have this potential. My future husband will be described by these words....
"You are, a cinema, I could watch you forever. Action, thriller, I could watch you forever. You are, a cinema, a Hollywood treasure. I love you just the way you are, a cinema." -Skrillex remix of Benny Benassi's "Cinema". I will be an academy award winning actress...in love, and in film.
I have been waging a war. It is hard not to fall behind enemy lines, when it is someone you love. Why drop an atomic bomb, whe
n you can just watch my heart ache? I can promise the effects will be far more destructive. I have never felt the urge for violence so strongly, as when love is the motivation. If I smacked you with all the light that is in me, would you start to see? No, I suppose it doesn't work that way. Light...love...those must be OFFERED. They LIVE in someone who is open to believe.
(https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEbcgmMCUpFe9lF9Wk-Rpnyooc8TnnBJhkrNuGH_Q8jaEKBBE7BAMN83Cy7H4EmZrtJwNWS5VZNsDIxHWnLb1eBqNFeuWeqDLxb-JGEMiSHdgZ9JsFVeSg8nkXyMfA4f8a5BCsGW8QHVt_/s1600/hiroshima+atomic+bomb+video1.jpg)
Saturday, August 27, 2011
August 26, 2011
Truth confirmed: a spoonful (or 2, or 5...) of peanut butter does make the world seem better.
Haha, while I did experience this truth tonight, it falls in line after a LONG list of truths. So I shall bullet them for you, and for me. (I love that Shanti reminded me AGAIN to write in this, because inevitably I will learn in the writing of this...so no pressure on you, to get anything out of my blog, because we know even if it is only for me, it is fulfilling its' purpose.) Some of these truths may not have only been confirmed tonight...but in the last month since I wrote last...these truths have been swimming in my mind and soul...and some born tonight.
*we learn in SOOOO many different ways, venues, through different people, at different times, different paces... and in large part this is due to our desires...and our willingness to ask, and also to recognize.
*always have a pad and paper with you...you never know when inspiration will come. (at the Weepies inspiring show tonight...ideas and thoughts were coming with speed and clarity!)
*Risk. the worst thing that can happen is that any possibility of regrets will be crushed. It may hurt...but if the wright brothers had never risked...the birds would have a monopoly on the skies.
*Pain is universal. However, it doesn't necessarily do any good to compare between parties...while pain is universal, the experiences that invoke it or allow it to simmer, will be different. Our Heavenly Father's universal plan of happiness is still catered to us as individuals in the details.
*If you are feeling at the end of your rope...it means that you are close to your destination...or the desired fruits of that mortal experience...so HANG ON. Don't let go.
*No matter how much we learn and experience, no one will ever fully comprehend the depth, beauty, and magnitude of those life-changing moments. "I guess you had to be there," takes on a whole new level. WE must be the fruits of our experiences. They will appreciate our "aha!" moments in the changes we make BECAUSE of them.
*It is vital that we recognize our gifts and talents, so that we can use them for the benefit of others.
*Our plan may unfold in pieces, rather than in one completed puzzle picture. If you are trying to unfold a piece of paper, you cannot possibly see everything on that paper until it is unfolded...but that takes time...
*God works in patterns. He always has, and He always will. I noticed a negative pattern in my life...what do i do with that? What am i supposed to be learning? How can I change?
*It is exhausting to keep giving...loving....without receiving...however, that is not true. I receive what I need from the Savior...good grief, must i be reminded again, that HE is the only one that after truly had to walk alone? I am humbled...thank you.
Ok, this is quite a bit for one entry. I encourage you to sit down and write the truths you see around you...that you are learning from your circumstances, challenges, opportunities, and your responses to all of the above...isn't that what life is all about? Amen, brothers and sisters. :) And sweet dreams. Thank you for letting me use you as a sound board so that I could learn.
p.s. you may ask: "how did she learn these things?" the answer is: through the hard experiences. yes. i heard that too.
Truth confirmed: a spoonful (or 2, or 5...) of peanut butter does make the world seem better.
Haha, while I did experience this truth tonight, it falls in line after a LONG list of truths. So I shall bullet them for you, and for me. (I love that Shanti reminded me AGAIN to write in this, because inevitably I will learn in the writing of this...so no pressure on you, to get anything out of my blog, because we know even if it is only for me, it is fulfilling its' purpose.) Some of these truths may not have only been confirmed tonight...but in the last month since I wrote last...these truths have been swimming in my mind and soul...and some born tonight.
*we learn in SOOOO many different ways, venues, through different people, at different times, different paces... and in large part this is due to our desires...and our willingness to ask, and also to recognize.
*always have a pad and paper with you...you never know when inspiration will come. (at the Weepies inspiring show tonight...ideas and thoughts were coming with speed and clarity!)
*Risk. the worst thing that can happen is that any possibility of regrets will be crushed. It may hurt...but if the wright brothers had never risked...the birds would have a monopoly on the skies.
*Pain is universal. However, it doesn't necessarily do any good to compare between parties...while pain is universal, the experiences that invoke it or allow it to simmer, will be different. Our Heavenly Father's universal plan of happiness is still catered to us as individuals in the details.
*If you are feeling at the end of your rope...it means that you are close to your destination...or the desired fruits of that mortal experience...so HANG ON. Don't let go.
*No matter how much we learn and experience, no one will ever fully comprehend the depth, beauty, and magnitude of those life-changing moments. "I guess you had to be there," takes on a whole new level. WE must be the fruits of our experiences. They will appreciate our "aha!" moments in the changes we make BECAUSE of them.
*It is vital that we recognize our gifts and talents, so that we can use them for the benefit of others.
*Our plan may unfold in pieces, rather than in one completed puzzle picture. If you are trying to unfold a piece of paper, you cannot possibly see everything on that paper until it is unfolded...but that takes time...
*God works in patterns. He always has, and He always will. I noticed a negative pattern in my life...what do i do with that? What am i supposed to be learning? How can I change?
*It is exhausting to keep giving...loving....without receiving...however, that is not true. I receive what I need from the Savior...good grief, must i be reminded again, that HE is the only one that after truly had to walk alone? I am humbled...thank you.
Ok, this is quite a bit for one entry. I encourage you to sit down and write the truths you see around you...that you are learning from your circumstances, challenges, opportunities, and your responses to all of the above...isn't that what life is all about? Amen, brothers and sisters. :) And sweet dreams. Thank you for letting me use you as a sound board so that I could learn.
p.s. you may ask: "how did she learn these things?" the answer is: through the hard experiences. yes. i heard that too.
Friday, July 22, 2011
NAUVOO.
clearly, i need to prioritize. here i am, back to share truth i have been learning. I am in Nauvoo. Again. Yes. It's amazing how one can learn so many different things, and become a different person, because of the same place. If only you can be open to it...it took a little while...here are a few things I have been learning...
*...how to give, when you have nothing left to give.
*...how to lift others, when you feel like you need lifting.
*...how to trust Heavenly Father...again...
*...how to love
*...how to look for and listen to the stories of those around you, even when you don't know the details. How to let their stories inspire you and influence your experience.
*...you don't need to know the end of your journey, to appreciate the pit stops, the flat tires, the funny billboards, the growing corn stalks, the melting tar in the epic midwest heat waves, etc.
*...that you have no end to your journey, because you are constantly sparking new beginnings.
*...when we give all we have on stage, for those on and off stage, we BECOME, rather than merely acting.
*...LISTEN.
*...open you heart to feel and be affected.
*Risk. (apparently I am not very good at this in certain areas of my life...)
I can get more specific...but these are a few things that I am learning in this sauna of a swamp that is one of the most beautiful and peaceful cities I have ever been to.
*...how to give, when you have nothing left to give.
*...how to lift others, when you feel like you need lifting.
*...how to trust Heavenly Father...again...
*...how to love
*...how to look for and listen to the stories of those around you, even when you don't know the details. How to let their stories inspire you and influence your experience.
*...you don't need to know the end of your journey, to appreciate the pit stops, the flat tires, the funny billboards, the growing corn stalks, the melting tar in the epic midwest heat waves, etc.
*...that you have no end to your journey, because you are constantly sparking new beginnings.
*...when we give all we have on stage, for those on and off stage, we BECOME, rather than merely acting.
*...LISTEN.
*...open you heart to feel and be affected.
*Risk. (apparently I am not very good at this in certain areas of my life...)
I can get more specific...but these are a few things that I am learning in this sauna of a swamp that is one of the most beautiful and peaceful cities I have ever been to.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday
Truth confirmed: Fresh cantalope punch is delicious and refreshing. But seriously, today, I realized the power of following even the simplest of promptings, even just to text a friend. I also realized the strength that comes when we even read a few verses from the scriptures in the morning to jumpstart our reliance on the Lord and to found our day on a spiritual perspective so that we can tackle the challenges of the day with heart, soul, strength, and optimism. It turns out that the verses i read this morning were not just for me, but for that dear friend i texted. When we do the little things, He can use us to accomplish great things.
New friend: Dan, Megan's boyfriend. He is very nice and joined us for taco tuesday at El Azteca.
Truth confirmed: Fresh cantalope punch is delicious and refreshing. But seriously, today, I realized the power of following even the simplest of promptings, even just to text a friend. I also realized the strength that comes when we even read a few verses from the scriptures in the morning to jumpstart our reliance on the Lord and to found our day on a spiritual perspective so that we can tackle the challenges of the day with heart, soul, strength, and optimism. It turns out that the verses i read this morning were not just for me, but for that dear friend i texted. When we do the little things, He can use us to accomplish great things.
New friend: Dan, Megan's boyfriend. He is very nice and joined us for taco tuesday at El Azteca.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday
Truth confirmed: I may not actually be homeless, but after playing a homeless person in a musical (called "SHELTER" - come see it in murray theatre this next week :), I have the seeds of empathy for them...I felt what it must feel like when someone out of the kindness of their heart doesn't ask questions and hands you a $20 bill. I felt the frustration of sleeping on a bench. I felt the joy in the simplicity of a tennis racket...and the comfort of carrying it with me...the security of familiar objects...I felt hope to hear someone near me pray...in gratitude..."what am i grateful for? i guess God must exist...." I love theatre. This is why I do what I do. Well, a huge part of it. The Lord can teaches us through the things we are passionate about. This is why He taught in parables. He is a brilliant teacher. He will also teach us through those around us. Why is all of this possible? Because, the Spirit is the teacher, and no matter where we are, or what we are doing, if we invite the Spirit, He can teach us. Wow. I've never made that connection this clearly before. Heavenly Father teaches me so much just when I take the time to write in this blog. If you, as my reader, get 1/2 of what I get from writing this blog, we will all be more enlightened people with desires to change the world, and be changed. Because we are learning to understand this world, our place in it, and its relationship to the life after this.
New friend: Dee. She is thinking of going on a mission. Jess and I had the opportunity to share how our missions changed us....it is so amazing how the Lord teaches us the same things, but in different ways.
Sunday
Truth confirmed: Heavenly Father asks us to teach others what we need the most to learn ourselves. Thursday was my last day at the mtc, and sunday I was asked to teach relief society: lesson 33: missionary work. Coincidence? I think not. I know Heavenly Father gave me the opportunity to learn how to transition from that blessed employment, into member missionary work...to listen to the Spirit...to trust Him....and to do it quickly because the sisters needed this lesson. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
New friend: Kellen, at Sarah's dessert night. Very friendly, and his house has a spiral staircase. I will have one of those in my house one day.
Truth confirmed: I may not actually be homeless, but after playing a homeless person in a musical (called "SHELTER" - come see it in murray theatre this next week :), I have the seeds of empathy for them...I felt what it must feel like when someone out of the kindness of their heart doesn't ask questions and hands you a $20 bill. I felt the frustration of sleeping on a bench. I felt the joy in the simplicity of a tennis racket...and the comfort of carrying it with me...the security of familiar objects...I felt hope to hear someone near me pray...in gratitude..."what am i grateful for? i guess God must exist...." I love theatre. This is why I do what I do. Well, a huge part of it. The Lord can teaches us through the things we are passionate about. This is why He taught in parables. He is a brilliant teacher. He will also teach us through those around us. Why is all of this possible? Because, the Spirit is the teacher, and no matter where we are, or what we are doing, if we invite the Spirit, He can teach us. Wow. I've never made that connection this clearly before. Heavenly Father teaches me so much just when I take the time to write in this blog. If you, as my reader, get 1/2 of what I get from writing this blog, we will all be more enlightened people with desires to change the world, and be changed. Because we are learning to understand this world, our place in it, and its relationship to the life after this.
New friend: Dee. She is thinking of going on a mission. Jess and I had the opportunity to share how our missions changed us....it is so amazing how the Lord teaches us the same things, but in different ways.
Sunday
Truth confirmed: Heavenly Father asks us to teach others what we need the most to learn ourselves. Thursday was my last day at the mtc, and sunday I was asked to teach relief society: lesson 33: missionary work. Coincidence? I think not. I know Heavenly Father gave me the opportunity to learn how to transition from that blessed employment, into member missionary work...to listen to the Spirit...to trust Him....and to do it quickly because the sisters needed this lesson. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
New friend: Kellen, at Sarah's dessert night. Very friendly, and his house has a spiral staircase. I will have one of those in my house one day.
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