Sponge for Goodness

Today. I was a sponge for goodness...I wanted to soak it all in from those around me...i wanted to listen...to learn...to feel...The Lord rerouted my day from the beginning...

TRUTH CONFIRMED: there are always people ready to help.

I woke up, remembering that I had to work for 1 hour at 7:50 am, however, without enough time to walk there, and no car. Texts went out..and a dear coworker volunteered to be there for me. I was able to sleep a little longer...and then be prepared with enough time for my 50 minute walk to the Missionary Training center for our meeting. It was a crisp fall day...golden leaves crunched beneath my worn boots. Aaaaaah, I wasn't even bothered by my heavy Mary Poppins bag weighing my right shoulder down. Invigorating.

TRUTH CONFIRMED: Not everyone knows what you know, even if they pretend do. They just don't get it...

I work at the MTC. I spoke with a missionary for at least 1/2 an hour. It started with: "Well, I don't want to change." It ended with: "Well, I don't want to change." It included statements like: "I don't want to be happy."

"I'm don't want to read the Book of Mormon because then I will want to change and I don't want to want to change." (interesting...he admits he has a testimony of the Book of Mormon...)

"I'm here for the wrong reasons, but I won't go home..I can't."

"I want to make a difference, but I would rather not make a difference than FEEL like a didn't make a difference."

"I don't need hope. Assume the worst in life, and just go step by step, and then you won't be disappointed."

"I know my potential is great...but I don't ever want to reach it."

Ok...what is he really afraid of? Failure? As I write this, in what areas of my life am I afraid of failure? I told him: "You are missing out...you need to let go...let the Lord in...you have to have real intent to act on what he gives you..."

Am I missing out? Do I blame the world for my disappointments, or IS there really action I can take...really doors I can open...or maybe I was only looking for doors, when there are windows open, beckoning for someone to look out and climb through (I never was the traditional type!)...or even bookcases that lead to secret passageways. Keep looking Kristen...let the Lord in...yes even in those areas...(men... :) Let the search begin...keep your eyes peeled.

(Interesting...my first reaction to this conversation when I was in it, was: "how sad. he doesn't get it...my heart aches for him to understand, to have hope, to change, to come closer to the Savior, to have JOY...". And while I still feel that, writing here, for you, has helped me to expand this experience to me, as you see just above. I am grateful for the reminder to trust, to change, to let go, to seek, to let my testimony of truth motivate how I live, in the big things, and the everyday moments. Thank you, for listening, so that I could in turn listen to what I am learning.)

BONUS TRUTH CONFIRMED: Dig deeper in your experiences...there is more to learn than the surface reactions and obvious "morals to the story."